A custody agreement is a legal contract between two parties as to the specifics about visitation and legal and physical custody of minor children. Some agreements are made voluntarily and are endorsed by both parents, and some are made by a judge with or without input from the parents or a neutral party, such as a family court mediator.
Custody agreements that are designed by the parents tend to be easy to follow and allow for a free exchange of all issues surrounding the minor children. Custody agreements that are court ordered may not be as easy to live with. Parents who do not agree with the custody order may find themselves forced to accept a visitation schedule that they do not endorse. Nonetheless, it is a requirement that the agreement be followed unless it is changed by the judge. Enforcing a custody agreement can be difficult if you and your ex are at odds or if your child is going through a phase of not wanting to visit one parent or the other.
Custody agreements that are designed by the parents tend to be easy to follow and allow for a free exchange of all issues surrounding the minor children. Custody agreements that are court ordered may not be as easy to live with. Parents who do not agree with the custody order may find themselves forced to accept a visitation schedule that they do not endorse. Nonetheless, it is a requirement that the agreement be followed unless it is changed by the judge. Enforcing a custody agreement can be difficult if you and your ex are at odds or if your child is going through a phase of not wanting to visit one parent or the other.
DO: respect the legality of the agreement
If you disagree with the court order, you must submit to the order until you can have it revisited by the judge. Your attorney can tell you what channels you need to go through to make the desired changes. If you fail to comply with the order as it is written, you can be sanctioned by the court and face unpleasant consequences.
DO: realize no one can force a child to visit a parent
It is the custodial parent's obligation to provide access to the child for visitation. There is no mechanism in place that can force an unwilling child into the custody of either parent. If the child is adamant that they do not want visitation, no one, including law enforcement, can force a child into someone else's car. If your child does not want to visit you, do not exert force to make them leave. Likewise, if your child does not want to leave your custody, you are not under any obligation to force them to leave. If visitation continues to be a cause for anxiety for the child, family therapy or a family court mediation appointment may be appropriate.
DON'T: Don't influence your child against their other parent
If your attitudes are negative about your ex, you may be influencing your child to feel uncomfortable or uninterested in time with that parent. Unless there are legitimate safety issues, your personal opinion about your ex should not bleed over into the relationship with the children. If safety issues arise, contact your attorney or take court action to notify the judge that you need an amendment to the custody agreement. Most agreements have built-in mechanisms for returning to court if problems arise.
DON'T: forget nothing is written in stone
A current order is a binding order; however, all orders are subject to change based on appropriate circumstances. If your order no longer fits the dynamics of your situation, it may be time to review and adjust the order accordingly. Not all issues are significant enough to warrant a change in custody; your attorney can help you decide if a matter is worthy of going back to court.
You may be the one who is not getting the custody you desire or you may be in the middle, trying to encourage your child to visit a parent that they don't want to see. Either way, it is important to know what your state and county allow you to do to enforce a custody order.
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